I am disgusted at a world which Doesn’t Appear to Get It that assault isn’t, and can’t ever be, right. Nor does the world seem to Get It that the the line between assault and battery is infinitesimally thin, and infinitely easy to cross.
as•sault, n. 2 a : a threat or attempt to inflict offensive physical contact or bodily harm on a person that puts the person in immediate danger of or in apprehension of such harm or contact.
bat•tery, n. 1 b : an offensive touching or use of force on a person without the person’s consent.
Now that’s a pretty damned low standard to meet. Hitting someone who doesn’t want to be hit: battery. Restraining someone who doesn’t want to be restrained: battery. Poking someone who doesn’t want to be poked: battery. Tickling someone who doesn’t want to be tickled: battery. Offering to hit, restrain, poke, tickle when unwanted: assault, all the way round.
There’s a mighty low standard for demonstrating un-wantedness, too: resistance equals unwanted. Period. No qualifiers, no modifiers. To try to squirm away from that is no more excusable than if I told a racist joke and attempted to squirm out by claiming, “aw, everybody knew I was only joking.” When it comes to this, there is no joking. It is not a subject which allows of jokes.
No assault. No battery. No excuses. Not right. Not ever. Not ever. NOT EVER.
