Last night I finally admitted to myself that I’m in a depressive episode, probably have been for a month, don’t quite know when I’ll climb back out or what that will entail. It isn’t a BAD one: no suicidal ideation (no matter how bad I’ve been, I’ve NEVER had that), but no energy, frequent attacks of sleepiness, “don’t-care” about doing much of anything, and so on. That’s certainly enough to qualify me, I think, for Major Depressive episode diagnosis.
My next psychiatrist appointment isn’t until February 20th, but I intend to call him once Christmas is over and discuss what medication options there are, besides not many. The only medication I’ve tried that doesn’t utterly kill my libido is Wellbutrin IR, which I’ve been on for years; dammit, my sexuality is important to me! However, I’m at maximum therapeutic dose. Any more, and my risk of seizure rises dangerously. There is no other anti-depressant NDRI (the class Wellbutrin’s in), the only SDRI there is (Effexor) has high sexual-dysfunction side effects for me, as does every SSRI I’ve tried (and I’ve tried a LOT).
I’ll try to make more sense about this later.
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