Another explosion that Piroshki had nothing to do with

Earlier this evening I heard a “BOOOM” somewhere in the middle distance, but not so loud as the house that blew up, not so as to startle you.  L and I wondered idly what it was, and she speculated it was a distribution transformer exploding (they do that occasionally around here).  A couple of hours later, someone posted to the neighborhood association listserv to say no, the commotion was really about a live WWII “pineapple” hand grenade that a neighbor had found while doing yard cleanup.  The bang was the bomb squad blowing up the grenade in a nearby vacant field.

 

The disambiguated rhinoceros understands blue.  Fnord.

Posted in Neighborhood | 6 Comments

The shape of albums

A few days ago Ferrett Steinmetz posted that one of his girlfriends had made a mix CD for him, and went on to say that he believes a mix CD tells you things about the person who made it.  After I read his entry, I found I was vaguely bothered merely by thinking about mix tapes or CDs in the abstract.

I believe my unease comes from growing up in the era of the LP, when the order of songs on an album gave it a certain internal rhythm, a certain shape.  (Sometimes the shape was purposely done by the artist or the producer, sometimes not.)  And often that shape was important to my understanding of what the record had to say.

By now, many of those albums are so embedded in my mind that hearing a single track from an artist as part of a mix CD is jarring, because when I get to the end of “Gonna Cry Today” on Nazz Nazz, for example, I expect “Meridian Leeward” and “Under the Ice” to follow in order.  To hear Neil Young’s “Helpless” instead knocks me right out of what the mixer is trying to tell.

Albums with “bonus tracks” give me the same feeling of dislocation.  I know, to a moral certainty, that Waiting for Columbus is supposed to end with “Feats Don’t Fail Me Now,” and Will the Circle Be Unbroken must end with the grand, ragged choral version of “Circle” followed by Randy Scruggs’s cool-down “Both Sides Now”.  Finding a string of bonus tracks tacked onto the end upsets me, because I know that’s not how the album goes.  Its internal rhythm and its shape are spoiled.

I’ve only made one mix CD in my life, a collection of songs relating to trains, and I’ve never been satisfied with it, because I’ve never found the shape it’s supposed to be.  I get it out and tinker with the track order occasionally, but I haven’t ever sat back afterward and thought, “Okay.  That’s how it’s supposed to go.”

Oddly, I don’t feel the same dislocation listening to thematic, free-form radio.  I enjoy listening to a good free-form show, like Below the Salt from WOUB-FM in Athens, Ohio, or The Phil Music Show on KUT-FM in Austin.  I like to see how the DJ is going to link each set’s selections together this time, try to pin down the theme or free-association logic before he does the back-announce, and second-guess where he’s going to go next.

 

Phil Donahue rotates the cera.  Fnord.

Posted in Music | 2 Comments

Indapindnt Cat iz indapindnt

For those of my Small but Faithful Readership who aren’t Texan, or who haven’t lived in Texas long, I’ll start by saying that Texas declared its independence from Mexico on Wednesday, March 2nd, 1836 at Washington-on-the-Brazos, Texas.  The independence convention was a rushed, get-it-done-and-let’s-get-out-of-here affair, because the delegates knew Gral. Santa Anna’s army was beseiging the garrison at San Antonio de Bexar, and they feared that Gral. José Urrea’s army was moving toward Washington.  (As it happened, Urrea was still down around Goliad foolin’ with James Fannin, but the delegates didn’t know that.)

The convention met on March first in an ill-constructed, unfinished house; the windows were only closed with cotton sheeting, which did little to keep out the norther that was shaking the building.  A committee of five drafted the declaration that day, and after a brief review and perfunctory debate, delegates began signing it the next day.  (The short delay was so the secretary to the convention could make a fair copy of the error-ridden draft.)  Delegates continued to straggle in from the forks of the creek for a week, and the final signatures weren’t affixed until the tenth.  Among those few latecomers was my great-great-great-great-great-uncle, Samuel Price Carson of North Carolina.

Washington never became a real town—the residents were stupid enough to run off the railroads in the 1850s—and almost the only reason for its existence today is that the state parks department maintains a historical park and museum commemorating the independence convention, and every year the park stages a festival on the weekend closest to Independence Day, so M and I drove down to Washington yesterday for the festival.  It began late in the morning, so we could leave Austin at a civilized time and make the two hours’ drive to Washington without missing much.

Suitably enough, and like the convention delegates, a blustering norther with winds as high as thirty-five miles an hour kept us company.  Unlike them, we didn’t have to deal with cold rain.  Other than the wind, the weather was very pretty if chilly.

We arrived just before lunch, in time to take a fast look at the visitors’ center, which was full of families with children, all wanting to be out of the wind.  Since it was almost impossible to look at any of the exhibits without being banged into by half a dozen kids yelling “Hey, come look at THIS!” and then dashing away at once, before they could possibly look at anything, M and I started down the hill toward the Texian Army re-enactors’ camp.  Along the way we stopped to look at a knife-maker’s booth, with some very pretty pieces displayed for sale, many of them with polychrome-looking handles.  I asked, and learned that the handles are dyed using a vacuum process, which I took to be rather like the process used to make Heathergems.  I toyed with the idea of buying one, but his prices suggested he was awful proud of his work, so I gave it up.

While we were looking at the knives we heard several loud BOOMs, which I took to be artillery practice in the middle distance, but once we got to the re-enactors’ encampment, it turned out we’d just missed a riflery demonstration.  Interestingly, the Texians all seemed to be using percussion-cap rifles—not impossible in 1836, but certainly unlikely.  The great majority of guns at that time were still flintlocks.  Our bad luck at watching riflery continued throughout the day; it seemed we always arrived just as “the soldiers were excused shooting.”

Instead we went over to the “Texas Institute of Oxenology,” the ox-drover’s tent.  The drover had a pretty pair of five-year-old Longhorn steers named Liberty and Justice.  After an invitation, M gathered her courage and went up to scratch them gently on the forehead.  In a few minutes, the drover got the oxen up and tied them to a gentle tree, then yoked them and hitched them to an artillery caisson.  I was impressed at how quickly he got it all done, working on his own.  At the tent, the drover’s wife was dextrously twisting together dolls from ragbag scraps of calico; she nearly finished one in the five minutes we stood watching and talking with her.

We had a quick concession-stand lunch, then went into the Star of the Republic Museum.  Again, dozens of kids dashing from one case to another in exhibit overload, and probably unable, fifteen minutes later, to describe anything they saw.  M went at a more civilized speed (i.e., one you could keep up with), and got stuck for a while at the riverboat exhibit, turning the pilot-house wheel and watching a video shot from a boat working upstream from Navasota.  Downstairs, I showed her a broadsheet printing press and quickly described how it was operated.  (Yet again I’m reminded that we need to make a trip to Houston Museum of Printing some day soon, on a day when the volunteers who can still run a hand press and a Linotype will be there to put the machines through their paces.)

As we left the museum, we walked up on a woman who was re-caning period cane-bottomed chairs.  I would have been happy to stay and watch a while to see it done, but M wasn’t interested, so we went on.  Instead, we went down to the Barrington Living History Farm, a historic re-creation of the farmstead belonging to Anson Jones, last president of the Republic of Texas.  Along the way, I admired the huisaches, which are in full bloom about now and very pretty, and M admired a pair of grey draft horses out at grass.

For my money, the farm was the best-done part of the entire site.  The re-enactors were dressed in really period-appropriate dress, adults and children alike, but weren’t painful about trying to pretend they knew nothing of events since 1845, à la Colonial Williamsburg.  M got pulled in by a grandmotherly woman doing shuttle tatting, and with a bit of assistance managed to do several double stitches and a picot or two of her own.  I was impressed by how quickly she picked up the tatting motions, and if she had a lesson or two I wouldn’t be at all surprised if she got the hang of it.

Outside the house, we had a quick look into the kitchen, where the docent explained they’d butchered two hogs recently and had a mess of sausage curing now, and that a half-dozen roosters who’d gotten old enough to go to fighting had found themselves doing a star appearance last week in chicken-and-dumplings.  This along with a discussion of whether hanging chickens upside down so they lose consciousness before slitting their throats or just wringing their necks was the better method of slaughter.  The docent went on to say they’d spared the most docile of the cocks, one named Earl, and that as soon as he worked out he was cock of the walk again, he was crowing all over the henyard.  We went out and had a look at Earl and his harem, all of whom had sensibly gotten under shelter and out of the wind.

By this time, two more drovers had brought up a pretty pair of Shorthorn oxen hooked to an open wagon, so we stood and admired them for a bit, then walked down to the vegetable garden to see what was growing (onions, cabbage, lettuce, spinach, and greens, mostly).

Down at the far end of the homestead were a pair of slave cabins and the barn.  M wanted to see the barn, because the drovers up at the house had told us they had a new pair of calves and were just starting to work them at breaking and socializing.  “Socializing,” we found, turned out to be one of the drovers just hanging out with the calves in the pen, talking to them, rubbing them, and generally getting them used to being around people.

The barn also served as a place to demonstrate woodcarving, blacksmithing, and rope-making.  The poor man working the rope machine was also a wood-carver, and horribly harried by kids running around and getting into his work, meddling with everything without permission, and since he was stuck at the rope machine, he couldn’d do a thing to chase them out except yell, with little result.  M helped twist a short length of rope, which she got to take home as a souvenir.  (The whole time I was wishing for a whistle, to accompany her with a verse of “Casadh an tSúgáin.”)

After that, we watched one of the blacksmiths cranking his fan to blow up the fire in the forge and heat a rod, while I explained to M that when I was a little older than she is now, my father had had a portable forge and he would let me blow the fan for him while he heated the metal.  The smith began hammering out the rod, explaining that he thought this time he’d make a decorative pecan leaf.  I was willing to stand there and watch him do it, but M began to get bored and fidget, so we caught the shuttle back up the hill, got the car, and drove round the other side of the park to look at the reconstructed Independence HallThe original was allowed to fall down through neglect, so the state had to build another for the Centennial celebrations in 1936, working from contemporary descriptions and a later photograph.  The reconstructed building is nothing extraordinary, just as the original was; indoors, there was a long table with goosequill “pens” and inkwells set out, for kids to try writing.  The pens were all cut without a proper nib, so of course writing with them was quite impossible.  There was also an oversized photo-reproduction of the Declaration laid out on the table, and I showed M her “Uncle Sam”’s signature, among the last half dozen; Sam didn’t arrive at Washington until March 10th, because he had to come from an area that’s now mostly in Arkansas, more than three hundred miles as the crow flies, and over roads that mostly weren’t there.  (As my father used to tell the story, Sam and his companions arrived to find everyone gone but a few clerks frantically packing up the archives, trying to get out before the Mexicans arrived, and they made the clerks get out the Declaration again just so they could sign it.  It’s a nice legend, even if it isn’t true.)

After that, we had about seen all there was to see in Washington, so we stopped for ice cream at a general store that’s been converted into a restaurant, and then turned for home.

At Ledbetter on the way back, I noticed something on the south horizon that I first thought was a cloud bank, but realized that it wasn’t shaped right for a cloud bank and couldn’t possibly be.  Along about Giddings, I realized I was looking at a king-hell fire of some kind, and my “cloud bank” was the smoke plume, stretching thirty or forty miles downwind (a gusty wind was still blowing out of the north at twenty-five miles an hour or so).  That night I learned it was a wildfire in Bastrop County that so far has taken out about two square miles of the Lost Pines forest.  I hope the two state parks that bracket the fire area haven’t been too badly damaged; as of this evening, the fire is still only seventy percent contained.

 

Will you come to the bower I have shaded for you?  Fnord.

Posted in Texana, Travel | 1 Comment

My last about money

This is the last of a series of five articles, written by Gertrude Stein for The Saturday Evening Post in 1936.  The series was extremely popular at the time, and although her views on money and public spending are out of touch with current economic theory, I still find them entertaining to read in the context of the late-Depression days.

 

Getting rid of the rich does end up very funnily.  It is easy to get rid of the rich but it is not easy to get rid of the poor.  Wherever they have tried it they have got rid of the rich all right and so then everybody is poor and also there are there more than ever there of ever so much poorer.  And that is natural enough.  When there are the rich you can always take from the rich to give to the poor but when everybody is poor then you cannot take from the poor to give to the ever so much poorer and there they are.

That is the inevitable end of too much organization.  That organization business is a funny story.

The beginning of the eighteenth century, after everything had been completely under feudal and religious domination, was full of a desire for individual liberty and they went at it until they thought they had it, which ended up with first the English and then the American and then the French revolution, so there they were and everybody was free and then that went on to Lincoln.  Then they began inventing machinery and at the same time they found virgin lands that could be worked with machinery and so they began organization, then began factory organization and laborers organization, and the more they began organization the more everybody wanted to be organized and the more they were organized the more everybody liked the slavery of being in an organization.

Just the other day I was reading a Footner detective story and the crooks who were being held together under orders under awful conditions said when somebody tried to free them sure you got to be organized these days you got to have somebody to do your thinking for you.  And also the other day a very able young man, you would not have expected he would feel that way about it, wrote to me and said after all we are all glad to have Roosevelt to do our thinking for us.

That is the logical end of organization and that is where the world is today, the beginning of the eighteenth century went in for freedom and ended with the beginning of the nineteenth century that went in for organizations.

Now organization is getting kind of used up.

The virgin lands are getting kind of used up, the whole surface of the world is known now and also the air, and everywhere you see organization killing itself by just ending in organization.  The more backward countries are still excited about it because they have just heard of it but in their hearts the rest of them know the poor are always there and the very much poorer are always there and what are you going to do about it.

Organization is a failure and everywhere the world over everybody has to begin again.

What are they going to try next, what does the twenty-first century want to do about it.  They certainly will not want to be organized, the twentieth century is seeing the end of that, perhaps as the virgin lands will by that time be pretty well used up, and also by that time everybody will have been as quickly everywhere as anybody can be, perhaps they will begin looking for liberty again and individually amusing themselves again and old-fashioned or dirt farming.

One thing is sure until there are rich again everybody will be poor and there will be more than ever of everybody who is even poorer.

That is sure and certain.

 

Money for nothin’ and chicks for free.  Fnord.

Posted in Current Events | 2 Comments

All about money

This is the fourth of a series of five articles.  The author is a well-known twentieth-century expatriate American.  At the end of the series, I will reveal his name.  In the meantime, feel free to comment or to guess who the author is.

 

It is very funny about money.  The thing that differentiates man from animals is money.  All animals have the same emotions and the same ways as men.  Anybody who has lots of animals around knows that.  But the thing no animal can do is count, and the thing no animal can know is money.

Men can count, and they do, and that is what makes them have money.

And so, as long as the earth turns around there will be men on it, and as long as there are men on it, they will count, and they will count money.

Everybody is always counting money.

The queen was in the parlor eating bread and honey the king was in his counting house counting out his money.

Counting is funny.

When you see a big store and see so many of each kind of thing that is in it, and on the counters, it is hard to believe that one more or less makes any difference to any one.  When you see a cashier in a bank with drawers filled with money, it is hard to realize that one more or less makes any difference.  But it does, if you buy it, or if you take it away, or if you sell it, or if you make a mistake in giving it out.  Of course it does.  But a government, well a government does just that, it does not really believe that when there is such a lot more that one more or less does make any difference.  It is funny, if you buy anything well it may cost four dollars and fifty-five cents or four hundred and eighty-nine dollars or any other sum, but when government votes money it is always even money.  One or five or fifteen or thirty-six more or less does not make any difference.  The minute it gets to be billions it does not make any difference, fifteen or twenty-five or thirty-six more or less.  Well, everybody has to think about that, because when it is made up it has to be made up by all sorts of odd numbers, everybody who pays taxes knows that, and it does make a difference.

All these odd pieces of money have to go to make that even money that is voted, but does it.  It is voted even but collected odd.  Everybody has to think about that.

 

Money, you’ve got lots of friends, crowding ’round the door.  Fnord.

Posted in Current Events | 1 Comment

Still more about money

This is the third of a series of five articles.  The author is a well-known twentieth-century expatriate American.  At the end of the series, I will reveal his name.  In the meantime, feel free to comment or to guess who the author is.

One of the funny things is that when there is great deal of unemployment you can never get any one to do any work.  It was true in England it is true in America and it is now true in France.  Once unemployment is recognized as unemployment and organized as unemployment nobody starts to work.  If you are out of work and you find some work then you go to work.  But if you are part of the unemployed then you are part of that, and if work comes you have to change your position from the unemployed to the employed, and then perhaps you will have to change back again, so perhaps you had better just stay where you are.

That is what happens.

We have given up trying to employ french people, those who were not working were unemployed and that was no way of changing them back to work, so we took to Indo-Chinamen.  Indo-Chinamen are after all frenchmen, so finally they too became part of the unemployed.  I asked one of them, his name is Trac, and why don’t any of you stay in a job when you get it.  Why he said it’s like this.  They get ten francs a day as unemployed.  Now a Chinaman can live on five francs a day and that gives him five francs to gamble.  The rest of the time he puts on his hat and goes out.  He takes a temporary job, which still leaves him unemployed, and buys a new suit of clothes.  Then by and by he catches cold, he goes to a hospital, free, and then he dies, and has a free coffin.  All the Indo-Chinamen in Indo-China want to come to Paris to live like that.  They call that living like frenchmen.

Everybody has to think about the unemployed getting to be that and is there any way to stop them.  Everybody has to think about that.

 

If you’ve got the money, honey, I’ve got the time.  Fnord.

Posted in Current Events | 9 Comments

More about money

This is the second of a series of five articles.  The author is a well-known twentieth-century expatriate American.  At the end of the series, I will reveal his name.  In the meantime, feel free to comment or to guess who the author is.

When the parliament was invented by England long ago it was mostly done to keep the king from spending too much money.

Since then every country has a parliament but who is there to stop the parliaments from spending too much money.  If anybody starts spending money they never stop themselves.  If they stop, it is because somebody stops them.  And who is to stop congress from spending too much money.  Everybody has to think about that now.

In France the chamber has been doing the same thing spending too much money and so everybody voted for the communists hoping that the communists would stop them.  Now everybody thinks that the chamber under the communists will just go on spending the money and so a great many frenchmen are thinking of getting back a king, and that the king will stop the french parliament from spending money.

That is funny.  Parliament was invented to stop a king spending money and now the french are thinking of getting back a king to stop the parliament from spending all their money.

In America, where, ever since George Washington, nobody really can imagine a king, who is to stop congress from spending too much money. They will not stop themselves, that is certain.  Everybody has to think about that now.  Who is to stop them.

 

I’m all right, Jack, keep yer hands offa my stack.  Fnord.

Posted in Current Events | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Money

This is the first of a series of five articles.  The author is a well-known twentieth-century expatriate American.  At the end of the series, I will reveal his name.  In the meantime, feel free to comment or to guess who the author is.

Everybody now just has to make up their mind.  Is money money or isn’t money money.  Everybody who earns it and spends it every day in order to live knows that money is money, anybody who votes it to be gathered in as taxes knows money is not money.  That is what makes everybody go crazy.

Once upon a time there was a king and he was called Louis the fifteenth.  He spent money as they are spending it now.  He just spent it and spent it and one day somebody dared say something to the king about it.  Oh, he said, after me the deluge, it would last out his time, and so what was the difference.  When this king had begun he was known as Louis the Well-beloved, when he died, nobody even stayed around to close his eyes.

But all the trouble really comes from this question is money money.  Everybody who lives on it every day knows that money is money but the people who vote money, presidents and congress, do not think about money that way when they vote it.  I remember when my nephew was a little boy he was out walking somewhere and he saw a lot of horses; he came home and he said, oh papa, I have just seen a million horses.  A million, said his father, well anyway, said my nephew, I saw three.  That came to be what we all used to say when anybody used numbers that they could not count well anyway a million or three.  That is the whole point.  When you earn money and spend money every day anybody can know the difference between a million and three.  But when you vote money away there really is not any difference between a million and three.  And so everybody has to make up their mind is money money for everybody or is it not.

That is what everybody has to think about a lot or everybody is going to be awfully unhappy, because the time does come when the money voted comes suddenly to be money just like the money everybody earns every day and spends every day to live and when that time comes it makes everybody very unhappy.  I do wish everybody would make up their mind about money being money.

It is awfully hard for anybody to think money is money when there is more of it than they can count.  That is why there ought to be some kind of system that money should not be voted right away.  When you spend money that you earn every day you naturally think several times before you spend more than you have, and you mostly do not.  Now if there was some arrangement made that when one lot voted to spend money, that they would have to wait a long time, and another lot have to vote, before they vote again to have that money, in short, if there was any way to make a government handle money the way a father of a family has to handle money if there only was.  The natural feeling of a father of a family is that when anybody asks him for money he says no.  Any father of a family, any member of a family, knows all about that.

So until everybody who votes public money remembers how he feels as a father of a family, when he says no, when anybody in a family wants money, until that time comes, there is going to be a lot of trouble and some years later everybody is going to be very unhappy.

In Russia they tried to decide that money was not money, but now slowly and surely they are coming back to know that money is money.

Whether you like it or whether you do not money is money and that is all there is about it.  Everybody knows it.  When they earn it and spend what they earn they know it they really know that money is money and when they vote it they do not know it as money.

That is the trouble with everybody, it is awfully hard to really know what you know.  When you earn it and spend it you do know the difference between three dollars and a million dollars but when you say it and vote it, it all sounds the same.  Of course it does, it would to anybody, and that is the reason they vote it and keep on voting it.  So, now please, everybody, everybody everybody, please, is money money, and if it is, it ought to be the same whether it is what a father of a family earns and spends or a government, if it isn’t sooner or later there is disaster.

 

You take a silver dollar, you take a silver dime.  Fnord.

Posted in Current Events | Tagged , | 5 Comments

It’s almost here

L’s birthday, that is.  Her 49th, for the first time of asking.

The same day (next Wednesday) will also be our twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.  For her, it’s a second marriage, after a starter marriage of two years.  For me, it’s still the first.

Erin kindly agreed to baby-sit M next Wednesday, so L and I could go celebrate by ourselves, almost the same as in 1984.  (Well, not quite the same; the night of our wedding, we went out to the County Line on the Hill with an assortment of in-laws and out-laws, and one of my old-time Canterbury Association pals.)  This time, we’re going to Fogo de Chão on our oddy knocky.

Startling, innit?  Particularly it must be for our poly acquaintance; seems like many relationships in Poly Austin can be reckoned in half-lives of weeks, and here were are at twenty-five years.

 

Little universe bewtween our backs.  Fnord.

Posted in Family, Personal History, Relationships | Tagged , | 5 Comments

Vinyl LPs sound ever so much better

when you take a couple of minutes to scrub them down gently with a very soft toothbrush and a solution of two parts rubbing alcohol, two parts water, and a few drops of castile soap.  Rinse, dry with tea towels, put on the turntable, and it is aSTONishing how many crackles, clicks, and pops have either disappeared completely or radically decreased.

 

What’d I say?  Fnord.

Posted in Music | Tagged , , , | Comments Off on Vinyl LPs sound ever so much better