Sawbuck review

Overall performance:  good.  It stood up quite sturdily while I haggled off a two-foot chunk of the log shown in my last post, despite the !fail noted below.

Needs work:  the movable center support is still tight, and you have to hammer it with a mallet to get it to move.  This may get better with use and time.

!Fail:  the chains and hooks that are supposed to keep it from collapsing are WAY too light-gauge for the job, and pulled themselves to bits.  A trip to the Despot to look for heavier chain is in order (I already have heavier gauge hooks).

Unrelated !fail:  My old Homelite XL chainsaw is too light for chopping up these logs, and its auto chain-oiler leaks like a sumbitch.  Wonder is that the saw didn’t catch fire from all the random drips being thrown round.

 

Her licensed fringe malfunctions above a certain terrorist.  Fnord.

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I make a ten-dollar bill

Not an actual ten-dollar bill, since the Treasury is so lacking in humor about such little japes, but an example of the bill’s namesake:  a sawbuck.*

Ever since The Shedding Tree dropped that last big limb, I’ve wanted a sawbuck to hold up the pieces while I chainsawed them into usable firewood.  I found some nice plans for a buck with adjustable supports here, and this morning I went over to the Despot and bought thirty-two feet of treated 2×4, four feet of 1¼” doweling, a spade bit and some decking screws, and started.

I found that next time I do something like this, I need not to buy sixteen-foot boards; they turned out to be very hard to cut with a table saw, which was all I had.  As the cuts get longer, they bend and bind on the blade. But I managed anyhow, and only cut one piece really wrong—and even that I managed to salvage and use as a cross-brace.  After I cut all the arms, I drilled out the holes for the center dowel on which everything rotates, and found that drilling into lumber that’s still damp with the impregnating treatment makes it hang up and yanks the drill out of your hand.

Everything after that, though, was uneventful and at the end of three hours or so, I produced this:

(I’ll get a better picture later, but this one at least gives an idea of it.  The log on it is a four-foot section of the limb the Shedding Tree threw down.)

While I was doing all that, T went round and sprayed things with Roundup, and her bf, whom she brought home this weekend to Meet the Parents, mowed the lawn, which saved me a lot of effort and Dressing Up in earmuffs and respirator to do it myself.  (I’m a sight in full lawn-mowing gear.)

* The earliest ten-dollar bills had the Roman numeral “X” on the reverse to identify its denomination, and the resemblance to a sawbuck gave the bill its nickname.

This one is serious, folx.  T is talking about marriage year after next, which hasn’t happened with previous ones.

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dink . . . dink . . . dink . . . dink

No, it’s not the “dinks” that used to start All Things Considered in the late ’70s.  It’s the twelve jars of plum jam I just put up, their lids “dink”ing as the jam cools and the vacuum seal forms.

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Just to prove that I can

I have six half-pints of peach preserves put up.  (Piroshki, I already had this planned before your kind offer, and I’m still looking forward to getting yours.)  Barring catastrophe, I’m intending to try making plum jam on Saturday, and I’ve decided I need to run down to Callahan’s and find myself a canning funnel, to make it easier to pour stuph into jars without dripping all over the counter or over me.  I have no idea what happened to the one I used to have—maybe I gave away in a fit when I thought I wasn’t ever going to can anything again.

I think this year is the first since 1987 that I’ve attempted ANY kind of canning whatever.  If I could find a good price on a peck of tomatoes, I might even think about making ketchup again one day.  It isn’t that hard to do.

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. . . and ef the crik don’t rise

Although it’s too late to hope for that part.  Hermine is falling apart over our heads, and it’s been all rain, all day long, with more predicted for tonight and tomorrow.  A very heavy squall line hit about 7:30, and a few minutes ago, as I came home from the grocery, I saw that Waller Creek was out of its banks and over the roadways, and Austin PD units parked with their lights on to warn cars away from the flooding.

It was enough to give me a flashback to the night of May 24, 1981, when I was caught in the Memorial Day flood.

At the time, I lived in a tiny “efficiency” apartment at the corner of 45th Street and Speedway, maybe twenty-five yards from the creek bed (and four blocks from where I live today).  The weather had been wet for several days before that Sunday, and it saturated the ground.  That afternoon the sun came out, but everything was horribly hot and muggy.  A friend of mine came in from Nacogdoches to spend the weekend, and a mutual friend of ours also came over from East Austin to visit that evening.  A little before dark, the thunderstorm that had been threatening all day turned loose, and we got rain of a sort that I’ve only seen once or twice in my life.  Official weather records count ten inches of rain in four hours; other sources say more than twelve inches fell.

We heard and commented on how heavy the rain was, but didn’t realize just how bad it had gotten until one of us looked out the window and saw water over the concrete walk—not standing, but moving water, and it looked to be coming up.  We all began at once to pile my floor-level stuff onto furniture, high shelves, and other taller things, because we had no idea how serious it might get.  (That effort saved my record collection and part of my books and magazines from being ruined.)

Meanwhile, the rain kept falling and the creek kept rising.  We decided we’d be best off to get up to the second floor of the building while we could, and I started to open the door.  Fortunately, Liz from Nacogdoches stopped me and pointed out that the water, which by now was coming in around the door, was only an inch or two deep inside the apartment but more than a foot deep outside and I really didn’t want to let in all that water.  I took her point, so we climbed out the apartment’s one window and dropped into knee-deep flood.  My building, and the apartments next to it, created a kind of backwater where we were, so we didn’t have to fight the current as well to get to the stairs.

We climbed up, and found seven or eight other people up there as well—some residents, others people who’d pulled into our parking lot to try to get out of the spreading pool.  Someone brought out a jug of wine and some plastic cups, and we passed them round as we stood on the walkway.  Strangely, the storm didn’t have much wind with it, so we were all able to stay dry as we watched the flood happen.  An Austin PD officer parked his patrol car earlier at the intersection with lights on as a barricade, but the rising water floated it so it bobbed across the intersection until it fetched up against a light-pole guy wire, lights still going.

The rain let up an hour or so later, and a couple of hours after that the water went down enough that our local friend was able to get his car out and go home.  The apartment was, of course, uninhabitable with mud and wet, so Liz and I spent the night on the couches at the Canterbury Association, since I still had keys (after my term as an officer was over, the chaplain never asked me for them back).  The landlord had to rip out and replace all the carpet and most of the furniture, so I camped out for a week or so at Canterbury until repairs were done.

At that, I got off lightly.  Shoal Creek, a couple of miles away, went on a rampage and crested at twenty-one feet over flood stage downtown.  Its normal flow is about twelve cubic feet (90 gallons) per minute; at the peak of the flood, it was estimated at more than 802,000 cubic feet (6,000,000 gallons) per minute.  Thirteen people died in the flood, eleven of them motorists who drove into low-water crossings without realizing the force and volume of the water.  The final damage was calculated at $36,000,000—and that’s in thirty-year-old dollars.

As soon as I got in the door and dropped the groceries, I called M and drove her out to see Waller Creek from a safe vantage point.  It shook her to see that much water in a creek she normally knows as a trickle.

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I passed

I forgot to set it down last Thursday—the roof project passed its final building inspection by the City, and is officially Over.  The inspector came round, walked around the back of the house and looked up at the outside, gave me a little bit of advice about some caulking and gaps that I’d overlooked and what to do about them.  I asked him “So do I need to do that and then call again?” and he said no, he didn’t think that was necessary, he was going to close the permit out.

Now I get to gather up all the invoices I can find, and fax them off to USAA to see if I can pry some of the retained depreciation money out of them.  If I get the money, I intend to pay off as much of my one remaining Visa card as I possibly can, and then plug through paying back my 401(k), which I had to borrow from to finish the project, for the next three years.

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See Sam. See Sam talk. See Sam talk about kilts.

My talk this morning on Highland kilts and tartan for the Mensa gathering went off well.  I drew an audience of about twenty, which is good for a bunch of people who mostly aren’t morning people, at an event that tends to skew toward evening-dwellers anyway.

I started by saying that probably the most of what they thought they knew about kilts and tartan was wrong, because the amount of actual fact on the subject is dwarfed by the amount of legend and romance.  I told them what ancient basis there was for postulating tartan dress in ancient times (a passing mention in Book VIII of the Æneid), and went into a few of the most common misconceptions including the failure of the Act of Proscription to kill off all the tartans because (1) it only lasted for 36 years, (2) it was unevenly enforced, and (3) there weren’t any “clan tartans” as such to be killed off anyway!  After that I talked about the influence of Scott’s Waverly novels, which had an enormous impact, helped along by Queen Victoria and her mania for anything Scottish.  After Waverly, EVERYbody wanted to have a noble Scots lineage of their own, much like the DAR and similar groups today.  I finished up with the Vestiarum Scoticum hoax, possibly one of the most successful long-con games ever run.  The hoax was so successful that of the seventy tartans first described and published there, fifty of which were made up—you should pardon the expression—from whole cloth by the authors, thirty are still accepted today as being legitimate clan tartans!

Once I cleared that ground, I gave the group a quick rundown on the huge variety of tartans (more than five thousand registered tartans exist, plus who knows how many unregistered ones), assured them that they weren’t stuck having to wear a godawfully ugly tartan if their clan’s tartan happened to be godawfully ugly, that there were alternatives, explained what made a kilt such an expensive item, and skimmed the surface of the various accessories.

Nobody was belligerent or tried to prove zie was smarter than I was (many of them knew I’d previously been a member), and none of the questions was completely idiotic or inane.  I did hang around the hospitality suite for a little while after I was done, to visit with people I hadn’t seen since the last time somebody diedthe last time I went to a gathering, but L was waiting at home for me to get back so she could go to San Marcos to see her SO, so I picked up and came back home about 12:30.

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It’s done it again

“It” being The Shedding Tree, which turned loose its one remaining big branch that overhung the house at five o’clock this morning.  The crash shook the place and was enough to wake L and half-wake me.  M, being one of those people who does this, slept through the entire commotion.

So far as I can tell, the branch didn’t do any real damage to the roof; it was only a twelve-to eighteen-inch fall, so the branch didn’t get up enough momentum to make a real hole.  One piece did smash part of one of M’s windows on the way down, but that window is double-glazed and the branch only got the outer layer—the inner glazing is still OK and keeping out the Outdoors.  (I still need to have a glazier come fix it, though.)

So I have a back yard full of big chunks of pecan branch again that’ll have to be cut up.  I suppose it’s a good thing I went and ransomed the chainsaw yesterday from the mower repair shop, where it’s been for the past month.  With this branch fall, the tree’s now been reduced to about fifteen feet of the main trunk and stubs of the main branch systems, and the whole thing appears to be riddled with carpenter ants and woodworm.

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It’s ALLL-ways SOM-thin’

So I gave up on finding the big staple gun, which has gone walkabout in the house and nobody knows what happened to it.  I do know that it isn’t any of the places I can remember seeing it in the last several months, nor in any of the places it might have been used recently.  And having given up on finding it, I drove over to Home Despot and bought another stapler, so I could start doing the window screen wire.

I came home, stapled screen wire to three sides of the first frame . . . and now I can’t find the tin snips, to cut off the end of the roll of wire!

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Pikl okras!

Four pints of them, just canned and set up to age for the next three weeks.  I also Haz Klene Londrys an Dishs.

Now if I could only remember where I put the big staple gun, so I can start to staple screen wire to the window screen frames . . . .

And L just reported that she’s inbound, about thirty miles east of Little Rock, and she intends to drive all the way home tonight so she doesn’t have to pay for another night’s motel.

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