Money

This is the first of a series of five articles.  The author is a well-known twentieth-century expatriate American.  At the end of the series, I will reveal his name.  In the meantime, feel free to comment or to guess who the author is.

Everybody now just has to make up their mind.  Is money money or isn’t money money.  Everybody who earns it and spends it every day in order to live knows that money is money, anybody who votes it to be gathered in as taxes knows money is not money.  That is what makes everybody go crazy.

Once upon a time there was a king and he was called Louis the fifteenth.  He spent money as they are spending it now.  He just spent it and spent it and one day somebody dared say something to the king about it.  Oh, he said, after me the deluge, it would last out his time, and so what was the difference.  When this king had begun he was known as Louis the Well-beloved, when he died, nobody even stayed around to close his eyes.

But all the trouble really comes from this question is money money.  Everybody who lives on it every day knows that money is money but the people who vote money, presidents and congress, do not think about money that way when they vote it.  I remember when my nephew was a little boy he was out walking somewhere and he saw a lot of horses; he came home and he said, oh papa, I have just seen a million horses.  A million, said his father, well anyway, said my nephew, I saw three.  That came to be what we all used to say when anybody used numbers that they could not count well anyway a million or three.  That is the whole point.  When you earn money and spend money every day anybody can know the difference between a million and three.  But when you vote money away there really is not any difference between a million and three.  And so everybody has to make up their mind is money money for everybody or is it not.

That is what everybody has to think about a lot or everybody is going to be awfully unhappy, because the time does come when the money voted comes suddenly to be money just like the money everybody earns every day and spends every day to live and when that time comes it makes everybody very unhappy.  I do wish everybody would make up their mind about money being money.

It is awfully hard for anybody to think money is money when there is more of it than they can count.  That is why there ought to be some kind of system that money should not be voted right away.  When you spend money that you earn every day you naturally think several times before you spend more than you have, and you mostly do not.  Now if there was some arrangement made that when one lot voted to spend money, that they would have to wait a long time, and another lot have to vote, before they vote again to have that money, in short, if there was any way to make a government handle money the way a father of a family has to handle money if there only was.  The natural feeling of a father of a family is that when anybody asks him for money he says no.  Any father of a family, any member of a family, knows all about that.

So until everybody who votes public money remembers how he feels as a father of a family, when he says no, when anybody in a family wants money, until that time comes, there is going to be a lot of trouble and some years later everybody is going to be very unhappy.

In Russia they tried to decide that money was not money, but now slowly and surely they are coming back to know that money is money.

Whether you like it or whether you do not money is money and that is all there is about it.  Everybody knows it.  When they earn it and spend what they earn they know it they really know that money is money and when they vote it they do not know it as money.

That is the trouble with everybody, it is awfully hard to really know what you know.  When you earn it and spend it you do know the difference between three dollars and a million dollars but when you say it and vote it, it all sounds the same.  Of course it does, it would to anybody, and that is the reason they vote it and keep on voting it.  So, now please, everybody, everybody everybody, please, is money money, and if it is, it ought to be the same whether it is what a father of a family earns and spends or a government, if it isn’t sooner or later there is disaster.

You take a silver dollar, you take a silver dime.  Fnord.